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Friday, January 15, 2010

Nacho Libre

This movie may just be a thorn among roses. Its goal is not to impress anybody. It is what it is and it IS proud. But just because it is awkwardly unique, that doesn't mean it isn't funny to the right audience. If you can dumb down your mindset quite a bit before this picture... Maybe play with some hot wheels, drink apple juice out of a tippy cup, read "Everybody Poops". Then you will be ready to laugh your head off for at least 1 and a half hours of a brilliantly blissful, blubbering, blight comedy. I personally belonged to the crowd who was laughing hysterically, but I still say "yo mamma" when anybody asks me what I'm doing...

Nacho Libre is not a safe bet for a first date... rent Roxanne, maybe Dumb and Dumber... This is a comedy that should wait until you know one another's humor. DUM

2/3 people points. PLEASE don't get me wrong, this movie is hilarious... to me. And to most of the people I watched it with. But with movies that don't quite appeal to those of us who really are or pretend to be mature, there will be critics who claim "it just didn't make me think". To them I say: go see Memento, Prude.

:)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Dark Knight

While it may come as no surprise to most of us, I must say it anyway: The Dark Knight was the biggest movie of 2008, the 2000's and possibly of the 20 & 21st century combined. There are few movies which stand in this right to be as popular and resonant with a society as Chris Nolan's cinematic masterpiece.

At 11:50 July 17th, 2008 I walked into a already crowded theater and sat inevitably down in the front row. Luckily for me, looking up to view this gigantic film only added to the audacity of the picture. Now, not to trash on 3D movies, cause they are cool sometimes... There is just something about the way a film in 2D brings the world into perspective in ways that you couldn't imagine. For example, Chris Nolan manages to do something quite unique in this experience: Gotham (Chicago) looks just about bigger than any city you may have seen in your life, while you watch The Dark Knight, you just contemplate how they made it look so darn big. Does anybody know?
Anybody?
IMAX cameras. Chris Nolan did a brilliant thing: all of the outside city shots of Gotham (Chicago) were filmed in IMAX, yet all of the inside shots were filmed with a smaller, but still high quality; high expense camera.

But none of that has anything to do with how you would enjoy the movie. When we talk about enjoying The Dark Knight, I mean really, just sitting down with a bowl of popcorn and jujubees... There aren't many movies that can beat it. The storytelling is superb and unique; unlike most superhero movies it does not choose to explore ever facade of every character that the camera ever focuses on. In fact our arch enemy, The Joker, Is not explored at all. Never do we know a single thing about his past, his life, his scars, his love, his insanity... We know one thing and one thing only: The Joker is here to do what he is here to do... and he is going to do it. We find ourselves rooting for the bad guy just a tad, but then again, Batman is a bit of a bad guy too. It takes us a hour of pencils getting shoved into eye sockets, knives in mouths, and hangings off of sky scrapers to figure out that everybody in Gotham is a little good and a little bad. Nobody can point fingers because the second we do, someone has pointed out the flaws we try so hard to mask ourselves. We are products of our environment.Chris Nolan demonstrates this thesis very clearly through the turn of District Attorney Harvey Dent who, like everybody else in Gotham, has the potential to be either the hero or the villain. As we know, Dent turns into Two-Face who has a split personality. The only way he can make up his mind about a certain decision is by flipping a coin. Dent turns into two face because part of his face was burnt and he lost his dearest love, Rachael Dawes (Mega bummer for would be good guys). Chris Nolan has a intention of showing us that the good can fall from the highest steeple... and he makes it very... VERY entertaining

This movie will make almost every guy happy for a month. Rent it, and watch it with him girls... it's like flowers on a bad day for you.  DAM

3/3 people points. Need i really give a reason? YES, and it is that this is simply the best superhero movie that you may get the chance to watch.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

House & Holmes

I need to tell you about a certain case of Deja Vu this Sherlock Holmes gave me. Through more than half of the film I was having this odd feeling that I have watched this character somewhere else , even after I had already established that Holmes was a well written, original and well played character, I was relentlessly having the strangest case of Deja Vu in my comfortable theater chair.... Is there not another actor who entertains us weekly who's name is reminiscent of a place in which we dwell?

Ah, Yes...

May the real Greg House please stand up?

Halfway through the movie I realized why I loved it so much: Holmes IS House! And in case you aren't up on your TV knowledge, House is a witty, sarcastic Dr. who's specialty is none other than diagnostics (let's just all agree that diagnostics is a big word for Medical Deduction). So knowing we have two smart men who specialize in puzzles let us compare deeper, Shall We?
House can't stay away from a good riddle; Holmes shares the same blissful curse.
House has quite a unique obsession with music; well, Holmes just likes to torture flies with it.
House often eats his words; Holmes is also often a little quick to speak.
House is a master of deduction; and Holmes? that ones a little too easy.
Both are perfectly willing to embarrass themselves for the sake of solving a case.
Both would seem to have little conscience.
And both have drug addictions (House:Vicodin/Holmes:Cocaine)

And alas my favorite: Hugh Laurie is a british actor who has come to America to bring "House" to life and Robert Downey Jr. has gone to England to show the English a thing or two about how to be English.

Will any of this make you like Sherlock Holmes less? Definitely not. Most likely more, If you like House you will love Sherlock Holmes: the similarities between characters are most likely nothing more than two writers having a similarly brilliant idea.

"Madame, I need you to remain calm and trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow lies the key to my release."

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) just LOVES to bring his A game.

Fortunately we have an adept thespian to help our protagonist (good guy) do just that. Yet, while Downey Jr. loves to strut his proverbial "stuff" he doesn't quite need to show off in this role for us to be thoroughly entertained. Guy Ritchie throws both his fists and a bag of chips into this project; proving that not only can he direct Tarantino-like, yet original action films, but action thrillers that grab you and relentlessly shake till your popcorn has added to the already sticky theater floor. Ritchie has a lot more CGI action than usual, but then again, he may have just been intimidated by Avatar. Overall, Sherlock Holmes may not be for everybody, but almost anybody has a good chance to have a great day at the theater.


This movie is VERY heavy on the suspense and action (also quite a bit of witty dialogue), so if Robert Downey Jr. wasn't as attractive then I wouldn't be able to give it this stamp: DAM


Sherlock Holmes most definitely brings you on a ride, it just may not be the twisted roller coaster everybody is looking for.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Avatar

It's generally considered a good thing to keep your promises. So in all respects, for honesty's sake, Avatar is a great movie. It promises a unique aesthetic experience and delivers in full. Vivid colors and imaginative story lines leak from the sides of the silver screen as you indulge in this heavy hitting "Blue" Christmas. Talk of visual revolution claim you may never view a movie in the same way... and this may be true. Yet, it seems that with the imagination being in the hands of computer animators you may lose a certain sense of the human experience that comes with great art. So a small piece of advice: if you can't stand CGI, do not attend this movie. Aside from the effects, Sam Worthington did a wonderful job portraying our protagonist: a paralyzed ex-marine... but, if we are all honest not a single one of us cared who the actors were; we were there for the blue people.
Avatar's effects blew me away in a fashion truly unique.

This movie is a HUGE DAM because there is romance for the girls yet war and blue nipples for the guys.

People who will dislike this film are as follows: hardcore Tarantino fans (myself included), people with ADD and those of us who just can't get over the fact that half of the film looks just a little bit less real than its supposed to.
Since that group only comprises about 100 of us this movie finds itself with a solid

Did You Hear About the Morgans?



The movies plot is not its strong point, for it may just be my belief that trained assassins do not pull their guns in the middle of a crowd of 1,000. Please do not think I'm ruining key plot points for you because I couldn't if I tried. The second you stand in line for popcorn in waiting for this movie, you know how it will end. Yet as always, Hugh Grant is charming and decides to give the movie a piggy back ride to a comfortable 1 and a half hours of semi grinned entertainment. Expect to laugh, but only at at the englishmen in plaid.



This is by all means a DAM, there are guns for the guys, fashion for the girls... and a little of Sam Elliott's voice for everyone.


This movie earns a healthy 1/3 People Points for being the most entertaining movie about relocation since Witless Protection Program.




Julie and Julia

After watching Julie and Julia, I now know two things: Cooking never has to be boring, and neither does a movie about it! Meryl Streep does not carry this well written movie because she does not have to. Her performance is wonderful yet subtly hilarious, but she still makes you think in a way you never conceived by this possibly overbearing character. Her display is slightly offset by that of Amy Adams who may take a small backseat behind Streep's huge performance, but when all is said and done refuses to be ignored. Streep and Adams, though spending no time on screen with each other, create a chemistry that is truly unique. Julie and Julia is a instant feel good movie that should be immediately thought of for christmas and birthday gifts for every girl who has occasionally flipped to the food channel. But guys, please don't be put off, this movie will make you laugh and at least think twice about crying.

Guys, there is not a much better way to prove you care then a great evening with Julie and Julia and for that reason alone this is a: DAM

Overall, most will enjoy this movie, a select few will critique its overbearing "chick flick" qualities. Yet there is something overwhelmingly charming about a 6'2 woman cutting a twenty pound mountain of onions.
People Points: 2/3