Welcome to "The Lantern Critic"

Have you ever read a critique you didn't quite understand? Or maybe a film critic you know raved about a certain movie, but when you saw it you scratched your head in confusion...

"The Lantern Critic" is designed to be a blog that fairly critiques all movies for you in a way that will help you determine if it is a film you would like to spend your time and money watching. My main goal at "The Lantern Critic" is not to tell you if I enjoyed the movie or not, or not even to tell you if I believed the movie was well made. My Primary concern is to make sure you do not feel you are sacrificing a single ounce of your time or money to go see a movie that has been hyped by critics or friends. Through reading my critiques I hope you may be able to start watching only the movies you and your friends will appreciate and not feel cheated by viewing any movie that you did not thoroughly enjoy.

How do I plan on helping you view only the movies you will absolutely enjoy? It's simple; where most critics rave about movies meeting their own view of art or claim that a movie you may clearly enjoy "would not meet filming standards". I will have a simple system to help you deduce wether or not a movie is worth your energy.
I will rate every movie not using stars, thumbs up or down, but using People Points. Each movie rated will be given in between 0 and 3 People Points. These People Points will be awarded as if you and a group of three friends were to attend a movie. If it seems that in a group of three people, all three would enjoy the movie, it will be given a full 3/3 people points. Yet if it is seemingly dull and unlikeable it may be only given 1/3 people points. This meter is not meant to gauge how much I enjoyed the film, but how likely it is that you will enjoy the film. The higher the rating, the higher the chance you will enjoy it.

To learn in detail about People Points, click here

And finally, for all you young (and old) lovers out there, I have taken the liberty of creating a system to help your dating life. Cause let's face it, wether you are single, married, engaged, or just plain lonely... it's nice to go out on a fun date every once and a while! This system is simple, along with my 0-4 People Points I have created the DAM/DUM gauge. Any movie that is labeled DAM "Date Acceptable Movie" is a perfect film to watch with your significant other, no matter who he or she may be. But, beware! If a movie is labelled DUM "Date UNACCEPTABLE Movie" this is not a film that IN MOST CASES will be enjoyable for both parties.

To learn in detail about the DAM/DUM system, click here

as a wise poet once said "asta lavista baby"